As I often do, I wrote a blog entry in Word. I couldn’t commit. Like I said, I often do this. It gives me an opportunity to sleep on it. I have MANY Word documents saved. Realizing I haven’t updated the blog in a while, I started reviewing these entries. I found us a winner, y’all:
I hate when writing feels like a struggle. When I am in the right mood and right head space, writing feels so natural. I edit, as needed, but usually the subject matter is there. I just wordsmith it and hope for the best. Before I started keeping my current blog, I rarely ever let anyone read what I wrote. The only writing I did on any remotely consistent basis was writing in my journal, which I grow to love more all the time. What was once a rigid practice for me – I have to do it just.like.this. – has become more free and flexible. Sometimes I just jot down points I want to remember. In blank spaces, I scribble band names I want to remember. In the back pages, I keep lists of gift ideas for people, including me. Sometimes I write a quote in a color that will stand out – red or green – for easy future access. I keep records of story ideas for me and for Todd. I stuff mementos between the pages.
When Todd and I visited with Mr. Arber (Richard? I’m too lazy to use the Google Machine right now) in his gallery during Marfa Myths in 2016, he mentioned that Donald Judd’s daughter, Rainer, keeps a journal with her at all times. That inspired me. I copy that. I carry a small, emerald green Moleskine in my purse at all times. This has had a serious impact on my writing life. Any time the mood to write anything strikes me, I can write. I write during breaks at work. I write while travelling with Todd. I write during meals. Whenever I’m moved.
That’s the ticket, right? I need to be moved. It doesn’t have to be sadness or happiness. Any emotion will do. That’s what I need to write. When it’s not there, but I feel the urge to write, I will write as practice and without expectation. I need to practice more.
I do need to practice more. I recently completed my admissions essay for ASU. I even have an entry about that process. In the entry, I wrote that it was taking hours, not days, to complete. It ended up taking days. I’m sure I made it more difficult than it needed to be. That’s kind of my thing. The good news is: I finished the essay, submitted it, submitted my application and submitted my transcripts. Now, more waiting. I have to wait for some additional information before I can pay the application fee. Sheesh.
As an additional update, I had to buy a new Moleskine. It’s a different shade of green. More on this later.